


Step the Fuck Up, Namikawa

by empathy_junkie



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Drunkenness, Ew, Horrific bullshit, I'm a terrible person, M/M, Unsanitary, alcohol use, i'm so dumb, non con elements, please don't read this, sexist slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-11-04 13:08:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empathy_junkie/pseuds/empathy_junkie
Summary: From a cursed AU. I'm so sorry. This is horrible. I will probably delete in a few hours. You have been warned.





	Step the Fuck Up, Namikawa

He had already fought the urge to ask him earlier in the evening, but at that point it had only taken a second thought to dismiss the notion. Now, he had to physically gnash his teeth against each-other in order to prevent the words from escaping. Because _Jesus; _he had seen desperate before, but this was just unprecedented.

So, instead of asking Reiji if everything was alright and this wasn't his preordained last night on earth or any shit like that, Kyosuke managed, "Hey what the _hell_."

Reiji pretended he wasn’t the one being addressed and carried on slipping Sunset into what had once been a double vodka. 

Any other person might have taken this to mean that he simply didn't hear Kyosuke's comment. The atmosphere in the small, college bar was abhorrently noisy and they had purposefully stuffed themselves into the tightest and darkest corner available. So it wasn't ridiculous to assume that Reiji was doing all he could not to eves-drop on the couple adjacent. However, for Higuchi Kyosuke, two drinks and four nearly sleepless nights in, there were insults and _only _insults. And this was an insult.

"Hey," he raised his voice, bringing his hand down on the table. Reiji rewarded him with a glare. "Don't get us kicked out. I'm going to get a refill."

There was no attempt at a response as Kyosuke slid his chair away from the table and stood achingly to his feet. Once again, he was forced to take in the reality of his diminutive stature in a room full of twenty-somethings. He shoved a few of them on his way to the counter.

They were only supposed to be in Massachusetts for a week or so. Shit was damned expensive and the weather was less than optimal at this time of year. But the reassessment of finances had begun to slow their trek to a crawl. Luxuries like the kind they were indulging in tonight, had become the stuff of every other weekend, rather than thrice a week. Yet this wasn't adaptation. This was slamming down the accelerator until you hit a wall. Only, the road was undergoing construction in some places. So you had to slow down for a while. You can't stall out _before_ you hit that wall. Goddamn, Kyosuke missed that Porsche.

He got his refill of whiskey quickly enough, and wasted no time in heading back to the table. It seemed like every time either of them moved, they drew the eyes of several. One of them had enough started trying to talk with Reiji about an hour or so ago, but Kyosuke hadn't been able to hear the conversation. He had just caught a glimpse of Reiji's stone-cold expression and assumed the conversation was going to be short. _Hoped _it would. He got too many looks of a very _different _nature than the two of them incurred together. It was enough to make Kyosuke ill. In a manner of ways.

He was relieved when he found the table again.

Reiji's lust-worthy body was slumped completely against the wall. He had a hand pressed over his eyes while the other still held a brimming glass of amber liquid that should have been empty. Kyosuke gave half a scoff and turned away. Yes, they should leave soon. There were plenty more comfortable locations to get as drunk as Reiji appeared to be. If only the crowd would begin to thin out. It hadn't seemed to change much in hours.

Ah, well. To confer with his colleague. They had limited options as to what they could do next before one or both of them lost the will to keep moving, but options they still had. Time, they still had. All the time in the world, now that they were -

Tasting bile, Kyosuke banged the table with his fist.

"Oi. You wanna stay here?" he barked.

Once again, Reiji didn't speak. But this time, that wasn't an option.

Kyosuke leaned forward and took his arm roughly, noting how warm and soft it was in spite of himself. "Hey, Namikawa." _What's the matter with you? _

Reiji's entire body spasmed. He wrenched his arm clumsily from Kyosuke's grasp, letting it strike the wall at full force. It didn't phase him. But Kyosuke had, apparently, because he finally managed to open his mouth. 

"_Don'touch me_!"

Kyosuke blinked. The drink in his hand suddenly lost all of its appeal. "Take it easy. All you have to do is _answer _me already," he prodded, slowly. "I wanna get out of here."

"Then _get out_," Reiji articulated, trying to find Kyosuke's face through about ten shots too many. "And keep … your hands'off. Who do'you … _think _you are?"

Well, this was a more _standard _insult, at least. And much less welcomed.

A bitter bark escaped Kyosuke's mouth.

"Great. So you can't even talk."

_"Shut up_!"

Oh, that was nothing less than a shriek. It was sure to turn a few heads. It cooled the blood in Kyosuke's veins.

"Shut! Up!" Reiji repeated, tone high pitched and unwieldy. His body pitched backward at the force of whatever confused emotions propelled him. Luckily, he was sitting in a high-backed chair. "You thin'you can touch me when you're … _joke. _God. _Get out already_! You don'belong here!" 

_Oh. _

All shit-eating amusement had vanished from Kyosuke's eyes. Most of the noise coming from the surrounding tables had dropped, too. 

Kyosuke found himself flooded in pure, hot rage. He stared hard at Reiji as his thoughts crashed together like debris caught in a hurricane, and it did little to soothe his nerves that his companion had drool running down the corner of his mouth and angry red staining his cheeks from the force of his outburst.

He had still made his point. _Idiot. _

Kyosuke leaned in across the table and closed his hand around Reiji's lukewarm glass. For a second, an old sense of shame threatened to paralyze him there until the room had returned to its former din. He ground it like ice between his teeth. Reiji had to hear this, after all.

"There's not much I _can't _do to you right now."

But there was no dramatic near silence in the wake of this declaration.

Instead, Reiji laughed in a horrid, drawn-out string of noises, head falling forward and hair cascading around it. As Kyosuke watched in horror, hardly able to breathe with fury, the weak laughter began resembling a different sound altogether. It sounded like Reiji was _sobbing. _It _definitely _sounded like that.

Seeming to understand himself that his body was betraying him, Reiji brought a hand to his face, catching hair and mashing it against his eyes as he did so. And yet, he continued on for what felt like minutes - twitching, sniffling, whimpering - huddled up into himself just inches away from the man he had just insulted.

It was something Kyosuke had never thought he'd get to witness. So he drank it in, the sole audience member in the room that had now forgotten the two of them had ever existed.

_This must be a trip. Someone must have slipped something in my drink. I must be hallucinating from dehydration. _

And then, just when Kyosuke felt he would _himself _begin to cry if he had to endure any more of this insanity, Reiji's droning whines became interrupted by a series of low hiccups. Eventually, he was forced to adjust the hand covering his eyes and leave it covering his mouth instead. Drool collected on his fingers. His body lurched pitifully. And the next minute, Reiji was stumbling blindly toward the tavern's restroom and Kyosuke still hadn't taken more than a handful of shallow breaths.

Alone, he leaned back in his chair.

_No. _

_Fuck. _

_Fuck, no. _

This _could _not be the end of Reiji's fucking pity party. Getting to say whatever he wanted to say - never mind he had managed about three coherent words in the entire spiel. Kyosuke might not be able to control the fact that his life seemed damned to be a cosmic farce despite his best efforts. But tonight he had had enough. Tonight, he couldn't take it sitting down.

He forced himself upright. 

Kyosuke threw open the door to the restroom, letting it slam harshly into the opposite wall as he blinked through the shift in his surroundings. The restroom was dimly lit and very white, with two stalls and two urinals against one wall, and free-standing sinks against the other. Giving the room a quick glance, it wasn't hard for Kyosuke to discern where his companion had gone. He could see a pair of legs from beneath the stall doors. Approaching the correct one, he found that it swung open freely.

Without a drop of decency fueling the action, Kyosuke locked it once he had stepped inside. Then he allowed himself a long look at its second occupant.

Reiji was clinging to the toilet bowl with trembling hands, his head and most of his hair practically inside of it. Kyosuke could hear loud, wet sniffling, interrupted by the sound of bile and liquor hitting the toilet water.

He was grinning without realizing it; without a _glimmer _of mirth.

"Fucker," he gasped. "I thought you had something to say. Huh?"

A loud moan between retching.

"You were saying you'd rather not have my hands all over you. How are you planning on getting home then, huh?"

"_Oh god._"

"You want to laugh at me and here you are making a goddamn spectacle of yourself."

Reiji finally raised his head. He was chewing his own hair, oblivious to everything apart from his own discomfort. Once more he spat out, "Oh god."

"_Listen to _me!" Kyosuke barked. Driving his foot against Reiji's exposed chest, forcing him away from the toilet bowl and down onto the floor with absurd ease.

"I'm talking to you. And I'm the one who has to deal with this _mess_!"

He did.

_He could. _

_However he wanted to. _

What did he want?

"You sloppy _cunt. _Look at yourself."

He couldn't keep staring. He couldn't take much more.

Reiji gazed up aimlessly from a pair of watering, blood-shot eyes. His face was flushed beneath rivulets of slick hair, clinging in places to his skin and in others to the front of his shirt, dampening it. As Kyosuke watched, he coughed up a thin stream of saliva. He offered no resistance.

He had never looked more beautiful.

"I … fuck it. I can't. You piece of shit."

He started to turn on his heel - head racing with plots of kicking down doors and throwing glasses and throwing his body off of the highest fucking building he could find, when he felt a wet touch on his ankle. It was one of Reiji's hands.

He had never been more pitiable.

_Fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck me. _

_Fuck me. _

Kyosuke kicked, hard. When his foot landed again, it came down between Reiji's legs. The prone man only squirmed.

"You want me to stay, then? Is that what you want? After telling me to get lost? Huh? You're way too used to getting whatever the fuck you want, aren't you?"

Reiji's eyes closed defeatedly; eyelashes fluttering and releasing late tears.

"Job, recommendations, prestige. You never had any problems with that, did you? All you had to do was open your mouth and let them shove it in."

A moan.

"That's all you are! All you've ever been is a couple holes for the higher ups to keep using to jack themselves off while they made their goddamn millions! You were never anything else! You were _never anything else you fucking cunt! And I knew it the whole time!_"

Reiji's head bobbed from the force of Kyosuke's shoe. He dug it in harder and harder, not knowing what he was waiting for; what he wanted to achieve. But when he got a strangled whimper out of Reiji, he realized that _that _was it.

The color rushed to his face. For a moment, he was seeing stars.

"_Whore_," he rasped. "Piece of shit. I'll … I'll tell you where you belong. _I'll tell you_. There's nothing you have that I don't have now, except that _I'm not on the floor! _Do you hear me? You whore! Don't ever laugh at me again!"

The spot beneath Kyosuke's heel was dark. He drew his foot away with a snarl. He felt spent. Shaky, foolish.

Relieved.

"Goddamn you."

Kyosuke's body slumped against the stall door, heaving.

"Goddamn you … I'm gonna leave you here. Cry all you want."

But Reiji wasn't crying anymore. He had gone totally quiet, allowing Kyosuke to recover his dignity in peace.

"I'm … I'm fucking exhausted," he breathed at last, still facing the door. "I just want to go the fuck home. Why do you have to make everything so goddamn hard?"


End file.
